Thin Places

Wandering about on winding roads
Never quite knowing what was around the bend
In the quiet there is time for contemplation
There is time to simply be still and know
We came upon another ancient worship site
Chapel soaked in centuries of prayer
Further along the path we find
A place even more soaked in prayer
A thin place... the veil between two worlds
So very evident here
My heart and mind return again and again
To those thin places and the quiet time
Speak Lord, for your servant is trying to listen

New Beginnings...

I realize that it has been some time since I have written anything on this blog.  It has been, I believe, for a reason.  Trying to figure out who you are as a person, a believer, a pastor, a writer, a photographer, a Christ follower takes time.  I believe that the transition from the Air Force world to the world of a Presbyterian pastor in a small town is very nearly complete.  As much as I enjoyed my time in the military and as ready as I was at the same time to leave, it wasn't an easy transition despite what I told myself.  It has been an incredible journey to this place in my life where I find myself now.  Of course, the culmination of this portion of the journey was Labor Day Weekend when I married my sweet and beautiful bride Denise.

So what now?  Ministry continues, only now we are both here in DeFuniak Springs and building our life together.  This includes a kitchen renovation and floor replacement in all of the house but the bedrooms and office space!  I am feeling a peace that I have not felt in a long time.  A peace and a contentment that can only come from God.  And we are both immersing ourselves into the partnership shared in ministry between a pastor and spouse.

My prayer is that my writings, photography shared, and musings will be a bit more focused on what God is saying in the silent moments and in the midst of the lively and noisy life we find ourselves in.  Who knows what God has in store, but we are ready to find out :-)

Of Turtles and Grace...

Today I am thinking about my friends the Turtles... Not the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of my son's youth... although I did like those fellows... especially Michelangelo and his crazy appetite for pizza...

No, today I am thinking about the little creatures (or not so little as the picture shows) who I keep seeing along the sides of the road.  Yesterday, in the POURING rain, I pulled over... got absolutely soaked... and helped this one off the side of the road and into the grassy area... unlike other turtles I have rescued, this one would jump with all four legs as I got him close to the ground... he wasn't going to go where I wanted him to go... to safety... finally, I left him here at the edge of the grass with the water... he went to the water and then made his way down the side of the road (off the pavement at least)... I returned to the car, sopping wet and laughing to myself... stubborn cuss, hope he made it to safety!

Today, on the way to work, I see another one just laying in the middle of the road... I pull over in front of him (yes, oncoming traffic lane, but protecting him) and get out... at first I am worried that he has been hit... but he hasn't been... he folds himself up and seals himself in his shell... he is cooperative and I put him safely near the edge of the trees and grass...

I am a lot like these turtles... at times I find myself out in the middle of life's road with all sorts of stuff and nonsense racing by... trying not to get creamed by the oncoming traffic, I hunker down in my shell (like that is going to protect me from anything major)... and then... despite myself, someone reaches down... picks me up... shell and all... and takes me from the road and puts me into a place where I can regather my wits and begin the journey anew... that's grace!

So I will continue to watch out for turtles... and foxes... and opossums... and others of God's creatures who are both mesmerized by and fearful of the road they find themselves in... in much the same way that God watches out for me... and when I allow God to do so... I am picked up out of the mess I find myself in and placed where I belong... on God's path... Grace, Turtles and Me...

Of Sunsets, Water, Beaches and Holy Week...

I took this picture on the 27th of March on Santa Rosa Beach... I had been out for a drive and decided to stop and walk the beach... a funny thing happened that day... and on another day when Denise and I had been walking the beach and watching the sunset... a bit of an Epiphany... If you look on my photo albums on FaceBook, you will see LOTS of sunset pictures... and most of them are on the water... I have been taking these pictures since early 2009... so what is the Epiphany?  For over a year I would go to the beach... at sunset or at night... listen to the waves crashing onto the shore... and searching... being in a very dark place in my life, it seemed as though I was returning to the beach to find something I had lost...

In October of 1980, I had gone to Putnam Park on the Campus of the University of Wisconsin at Eau Claire for a similar reason... flunking out of my major (Accounting)... wondering what I was going to do... the Chippewa River seemed to call out to me... to carry me away... or to help me wash clean... my choice... I chose to listen... and in that listening, God called... And now, 29 years later, I was on the shore of a different body of water... searching, it seemed for something... wondering... at a major transition point in my life... and just as lost, if not more so...  storm clouds were raging and the lightning and thunder and torrential rains were very real and very destructive...

Once again, God called... or should I say, re-called... re-claimed this broken and sinful man... tired and burned out... wandering about in a self-made darkness... As Michael W. Smith sings in his song, "Healing  Rain"...

Healing rain is coming down

It's coming closer to the lost and found.

Tears of joy and tears of shame

Are washed forever in Jesus' name.

I had been taking pictures of sunsets... going to the water... searching for something... wondering if I was going to survive the impending darkness of a night of my own making... soul parched and dying... only to be renewed... thank GOD!

Now, instead of going to the beach or to the water seeking... I go to be reminded... reminded of God's goodness... of God's mercy... of God's forgiveness... of God's healing... and when the rain falls, it is a healing rain...

This is Holy Week... a week to remember the extent to which Jesus went for you and for me... for a frail, fragile, and sinful people... the depth of his sacrificial love... the amazing nature of his servant's heart...

As I look out my window at Circle Lake here in DeFuniak Springs, I see the lake... I also see clouds gathering... it is supposed to rain... supposed to storm tomorrow... and yet I am not searching... I am comforted by the thought that once I was lost; now I am found... blind, but now I see... a peace settles in my heart as I think of where God has planted me...

May all who are searching this Holy season find that peace... as we will gather around the Table of the Lord's Supper... share the cup and the bread... He welcomes you... He calls you... Come...  I'll gladly slide my chair over to make room... there is always room for one more at His table... 

Authority...

I have been busy reading, chatting with some good friends, and reflecting on the Scripture readings for this Sunday...

Deuteronomy 18:15-20 talks about God raising up a prophet... "I will raise up for them a prophet like you [God is speaking to Moses] from among their own people; I will put my words in the mouth of the prophet, who shall speak to them everything that I command." (verse 18)

Mark 1:21-28 speaks about Jesus teaching with authority... "They were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes." (verse 22)

Authority... after spending 26 years in uniform, I have had some experiences with authority... the Oath of Commissioning gives an Officer certain responsibilities (Command Authority) as they swear to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic... Yet a Chaplain, unlike other officers, has no command authority... what does that mean?  It meant I could not command troops... I could not give orders in battle... my role was to advise those in authority with regards to moral and ethical decisions along with issues of religion and spirituality as they, in turn, lead the forces in battle...

A Chaplain does have, inherent in the uniform, rank and Commission; a special authority... I was always humbled and amazed that complete strangers would come into my office or pull me aside to talk... and in sharing, would share their innermost thoughts and sometimes deeply hurting spirit... why?  In part, because a Chaplain offers Privileged Communication... what is talked about in that setting stays there... I could and did tell Commanders to mind their own business if they tried to pry into a counseling situation with one of their troops...  Yet, in many cases, I found that this authority was given by the individual in the form of trust... In quietly listening without judgment... in being a "sounding board"... they were helped...

However, I also had to regain trust with some of our folks in uniform who's trust had been violated by Chaplains who did not fulfill their responsibilities regarding Privileged Communication... that authority which had been believed had been violated... and it took patience and prayer to overcome that... and, sadly, for some it was not possible for this Padre to break through the wall...

Listening to debates and candidates for office, I am dismayed at the lack of substance in their speech... too busy bashing the other candidates and zero in terms of what is needed to fix our country... if you look at Opinion Polls and ratings for Congress, you see a severe authority problem... at all time lows, these polls reveal a lack of trust in the integrity of our elected officials on the part of a large percentage of the public... their leadership, and thus authority, is being questioned... not a pretty sight...

In a bit of good speaking, the President chastised Congress (and I hope he realized that he too is a part of that system and problem)... he pointed to the Military and how politics is put aside as they focus on the mission... while we now know it was a veiled reference to the Special Forces team who freed the kidnapped aid workers in Somalia in the wee hours of the night, his point was spot on.  Back to the Oath of Commissioning (and Enlistment)... Protect and Defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic... Obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniformed Code of Military Justice (Enlisted Oath)...  There is NO room for political BS when lives are on the line...

As I pray for our political leaders and as our congregation prays on Sunday mornings; we pray for wisdom... that God would work in their hearts... that they would seek to serve the Common Good... At times I feel as though I am beating my head against a brick wall... why won't they listen to me!!

And then I realize... wait a minute... oh wow... I KNOW that I must surely bloody God's forehead with all of my screw ups and botched attempts to serve... But wait... Thank God that God's patience is so much greater than I could ever imagine!  Despite all of the wrong turns and dumb moves this Padre has made and will continue to make; God has called me to serve!

With Authority comes responsibility... Jesus taught with authority... unlike the scribes... He came to humbly serve... and in that humble service... his authority came not from himself, but from God!

I only pray that this cracked pot can be of use to God... and that God will take other cracked pots just like me and begin to heal this land... God help us, we need it :-)

Reunions...

So I was just filling out the rest of my "info" on the Class Reunion Website that I joined... and it came to memories of High School...  Funny thing is I don't have a whole lot of "good" memories of High School.

Oh I remember managing the football and basketball teams... I remember not going to Homecoming or Prom... I remember not having a date during High School... I do, however, have many fond memories of getting to know teachers... so I guess you could say I was somewhat of a dork!

Now I did have LOTS of good memories of my time in Boy Scout Troop 109 and Youth Group at Westminster Presbyterian Church... Boy Scouts involved Camping, Prune Pit Spitting Contests (there was a down side to winning the contest I found out as we had to stop at every rest stop on the way home so I, the "winner" could... um... you get the picture), and tons of jokes... Youth Group involved Church Camp and retreats... learning about the books of the Bible never mentioned in Sunday School Class (Song of Songs!) from our Intern (Youth Director)...

Meanwhile, back to reunions... and High School... yep, not a whole lot that I chose to remember... sadly... but it was what it was.  Funny thing happened though... something called Facebook came into being!  And so many classmates who are also wiser and more seasoned (note I did not say OLDER)... having let go of so many HS games and attitudes... we were getting to know each other "virtually" and realizing that we had all missed out on something back in the day... but were finding out that there was so much more to enjoy in life now with each other!

Instead of "teasing" someone and saying they were gay or a fag (been labeled both and it hurt, but I had no idea how much it hurt my classmates who were, in fact, gay)... or leaving them out of events because they were not "in"... we begin seeing through the facade we had put up (yes, we... I had done the same towards the "in" crowd and others...)  And we began to see each other as sister and brother... as fellow survivors of AHS and this thing called life... and, to plagiarize Genesis, we began to see that it "was good"!

So whether it is, in my case, discovering the wonder of that Minnesota Sensation called "The Gear Daddies" (hey, I graduated with Martin Zellar's sister Nel and knew Nic Ciola's mom Joan and brother Lou, Jr!) or reading the writings of Brad Zellar and connecting with folks that I hardly knew back then but who walked with me during a very difficult personal time (Debbie Iverson Long, Jane Jirele Lightle, Jon Nack, Nel Zellar, Mary Newton Martinson (from College)... you guys rock!)... I figured something out...

We all GROW UP!  Well... maybe we all grow OLDER... and we mature... and we drop biases and stereotypes and HS crap!  Bottom line?  We have fun... we laugh...we cry... we share stories... we share memories... we make memories... and in the middle of that find out that life, despite its twists and turns and dark tunnels, is good...

And, at the end of the day... no matter where we've been... or even where we are... the blessing is this...

"This is the day the Lord had made!  Let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24)

So lets rejoice and enjoy what God has given to us... in my case?  A wonderful son, a beautiful fiancee, a church family and city I love dearly, and a house that will be ALL MINE in 14 years and 4 months!

Grace and Peace!

Michael

The First...

So... what am I going to do now?  Reading the blogs of friends whom I have rediscovered and of friends who are new acquaintances... what's a Retired Air Force Chaplain who lives in the country where his neighbors are donkeys and goats (thus the profile picture... one of my seven neighbors)...  Will see how all of this unfolds as I write... share... muse... comment... rant... and hopefully offer something of use to any who might find themselves on this page... in any event, I do wish any who visit the richest of blessings as we wander the countryside...